| manchester: | gays. you will probably get mugged. |
| liverpool: | like manchester, but less gay. you will definitely get mugged. |
| newcastle: | probably quite good for canadians as exists in permafrost and has never left the 90s. |
| leeds: | it's a lot cheaper than london |
| bradford: | leeds but awful |
| nottingham: | gun death capital of the uk! |
| derby: | intense rivalry with nottingham, literally no one else in the country or world gives any fucks about this. |
| hull: | violently resist anyone who attempts to take you here |
| leicester: | i'm not sure this is a real place |
| york: | this is an illustration from the top of a christmas biscuit assortment |
| birmingham: | NO. |
| brighton & hove: | more gays. is only a pretend city. mild to moderate chance of mugging. contains some deeply annoying hippies. basically if san francisco was british. |
| portsmouth: | there is literally nothing here. |
| southampton: | exactly the same as portsmouth but smells of off milk |
| bristol: | you have a 1 in 10 chance of ending up in a bbc recording. everyone sounds like a farmer or bob marley. |
| cardiff: | you have a 1 in 5 chance of ending up in a bbc recording, and a 1 in 3 chance of being glassed. |
| plymouth: | post apocalyptic wind tunnel full of drunk sailors pissing on depressed hookers. do not enter. |
| penzance: | everyone here is from london now. |
| london: | no one from london is actually from london and even breathing is expensive. |
| cambridge: | windy and full of equal amounts of homeless drug addicts and public schoolboys. the junkies are nicer. |
| oxford: | same number of cunts as cambridge but easier to escape from due to all-night bus to london |
| edinburgh: | a goth turned into a city. basically london but slightly more scottish. |
| glasgow: | it is impossible to tell whether people are angry or happy. |
| aberdeen: | las vegas at the point when vegas starts crying uncontrollably |
| belfast: | do not order "an irish car bomb" OR "a black and tan" here. |
| wolverhampton: | really, really don't. |
| norwich: | count people's fingers. mutations walk here. |
| coventry: | like plymouth, bombed flat in ww2. like plymouth, failed to take the hint. like plymouth: do not alight here. |
amused
jill_dragon
Comments
"Birmingham: NO" = XD
(Bizarrely, the university of Warwick is not in Warwick, it's in Coventry. Maybe the city is trying to upgrade by stealing other cities' places of higher learning.)