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A Guide to UK Cities for Foreign People

Found this on tumblr and had to share (yes, I'm probably going to hell for this).  ;)

manchester:gays. you will probably get mugged.
liverpool:like manchester, but less gay. you will definitely get mugged.
newcastle:probably quite good for canadians as exists in permafrost and has never left the 90s.
leeds:it's a lot cheaper than london
bradford:leeds but awful
nottingham:gun death capital of the uk!
derby:intense rivalry with nottingham, literally no one else in the country or world gives any fucks about this.
hull:violently resist anyone who attempts to take you here
leicester:i'm not sure this is a real place
york:this is an illustration from the top of a christmas biscuit assortment
birmingham:NO.
brighton & hove:more gays. is only a pretend city. mild to moderate chance of mugging. contains some deeply annoying hippies. basically if san francisco was british.
portsmouth:there is literally nothing here.
southampton:exactly the same as portsmouth but smells of off milk
bristol:you have a 1 in 10 chance of ending up in a bbc recording. everyone sounds like a farmer or bob marley.
cardiff:you have a 1 in 5 chance of ending up in a bbc recording, and a 1 in 3 chance of being glassed.
plymouth:post apocalyptic wind tunnel full of drunk sailors pissing on depressed hookers. do not enter.
penzance:everyone here is from london now.
london:no one from london is actually from london and even breathing is expensive.
cambridge:windy and full of equal amounts of homeless drug addicts and public schoolboys. the junkies are nicer.
oxford:same number of cunts as cambridge but easier to escape from due to all-night bus to london
edinburgh:a goth turned into a city. basically london but slightly more scottish.
glasgow:it is impossible to tell whether people are angry or happy.
aberdeen:las vegas at the point when vegas starts crying uncontrollably
belfast:do not order "an irish car bomb" OR "a black and tan" here.
wolverhampton:really, really don't.
norwich:count people's fingers. mutations walk here.
coventry:like plymouth, bombed flat in ww2. like plymouth, failed to take the hint. like plymouth: do not alight here.

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The Hobbit

If you listen closely you can hear the sound of millions of fangirls-and-boys all squeeing in unison.  I sadly failed in my quest to snag pre-release tickets so I may have to wait a week or so to go see the movie.  I suspect it'll take at least that long for the internet to calm down anyways.  ;)

On a separate (but not necessarily unrelated) topic, I'm debating creating a tumblr account.  *shifty eyes*

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Book Review - 'The Night Circus'

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Oh dear lord...

So I was on the toilet, reaching for the roll of toilet paper, when I realized that the surface of the roll was moving.  I looked closer and realized that it was completely covered with dozens of tiny little spiders.  Do.  Not.  Want.  DX

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*Swears*

I'm currently borrowing my boyfriend's laptop to type this.  You know how awhile back I said I wrecked my keyboard because I spilled tea on it?  I thought I'd got off lucky and that was all the damage done. Then a few days ago I go to turn on my laptop on and the hard drive promptly crashes.  FML.  D:<

Winter Is Coming

Just got the first snowfall here - it didn't stick but the weather's stayed wet and cold so I'm sure there's more to come. 

As you might have guessed from the post title my new obsession is George R R Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series (plus the Game of Thrones HBO series).  It's kinda sad how long it took my boyfriend to convince a hard-core fantasy geek like me to read it.  I think one of the things that put me off for so long was everyone saying how grim it was.  I don't mind realism in my fantasy books but I'm secretly a sucker for happy (at least somewhat happy) endings.  How I changed my mind went something like this:

Boyfriend: Read ASoIaF - it's awesome and totally the sort of thing you'd like.
Me: ¬_¬ If I wanted to read a narrative where everyone dies and there's massive human misery I'll read 'The Silmarillion'...or 'Shake Hands with the Devil', thanks.
Cable TV: *Has a free preview of the first episode of Game of Thrones*
Me & Boyfriend: *watch episode*
Me: ...
Boyfriend: ...Weeeeell?
Me: ....Get me the first damn book, I need to read it all NOW!

The rest as they say, is history.  ;)

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Peonies and Daylilies

Still working on getting my laptop keyboard fixed which is why I haven't been around much. :(  Today is Turkey Day for those of us in Canada and I think I'm still in a bit of a tryptophan coma, so feeling very lazy and unambitious today. 

In other news, have a meme I found on tumblr:
tumblr_m9fypj0x241qck2r0o1_400

I got:

'Peonies (pink) and daylilies'.  Bring on the zombies. :D

Bugger...

I managed to spill tea on my HP laptop and now, even after I thoroughly dried it out, half of the keys on the keyboard won't work.  I guess I should be thankful that seems to be the the only problem as nothing seems wrong with the actual computing part.  But does anyone have any advice as to how I could go about fixing it - preferably without plunking down a whole bunch of money.

Pinterest

I've discovered Pinterest.  God/Primus/Faranth/deity of choice, help me.  ;)

2012 Closing Ceremonies

Aaaaand we're done the Olympics for another four years.  You can be as cynical about the Games as you like, but I really enjoyed watching them.  There have been record-breaking/history-making moments from the likes of Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps, some stunning victories, and some heartbreaking losses.  Okay, so Canada isn't one of the heavy hitters like China or the US, but I think 18 medals is perfectly respectable especially since last time we kept barely missing the podium (now if there was a tin medal or something for 4th place...). 

The Closing Ceremonies were as awesomely cracky as the Opening Ceremonies - a VW bus that turned into a giant octopus, newspaper-covered everything, Timothy Spall hamming it up as Winston Churchill, Eric Idle singing "Always Look On The Brighter Side of Life", people in blue suits with light bulbs on top of their heads (supposedly they resembled those old police boxes, though personally I think they were really reaching).  And there was Spice Girls reunion, OMG that right there brought me right back to my childhood.  Actually there was some fantastic music all around. 

The Canadian team uniforms made me lol over how informal they were compared to some other countries - denim jackets, t-shirts and khakis - boo yeah.  Hey, at least no one has called for our uniforms to be burned in effigy in front of the White House *cough*.